People and stories
Reliving Life
Life seemed dark for Delhi resident Nirmala Verma after her husband’s death. Here she tells us hStoreow she brought back light into it by getting active in her locality. Written by her in Hindi and sent to us by her daughter in law, we hope it will inspire many others.
Nirmala Verma in Srilanka
Scroll down to read the English translation.
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I am Nirmala Verma, 69 years old former professor of Economics. I lived my working life to the fullest doing my job, looking after my family and bringing up my children.
After retirement, especially after my husband’s death in May 2003, I suddenly started wondering what to do with myself. I felt there was darkness everywhere around me.
My children were busy with their respective families and for some time I was extremely troubled by this sudden loneliness. All my three children and their families tried to support me through this period but as they say, only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.
Seeing me down and low, my children sent me to stay with my daughter, who lives in America. The change of location and new surroundings brought something new to my life. Both me and my late husband loved travelling so I enjoyed visiting America.
Once I came back to India, my life slowly started changing. I gathered a few friends of the same age and some younger women from my locality (G-Block, Phase 1, Ashok Vihar) and started organizing a discourse on Sunderkand every Tuesday in the neighbourhood. This discourse has been running for many years now.
I also formed a Women’s Club in our block of which I have been the president for the past three years. This club takes up a lot of my time. Every month we have a meeting of nominated members and club officials. We also host kitty parties.
I am also the vice president of the Resident’s Welfare Association of my block and try to fulfil its requirements and obligations to the best of my abilities. I am also a member of the Senior Citizen Welfare Association (SCWA) in Ashok Vihar and every year we go on a tour within India or overseas. We also celebrate festivals, both big and small, conduct health checkups, organize lectures and picnics.
Apart from these activities, I always try to mark the birthdays of my children and grandchildren with a card handmade by me. I also jot down memoirs and poetry sometimes.
I love to read and during my six month stay in America this time, I read a lot of fiction from the library. I try to read a lot here too but off late, my eyes have started hurting while reading so I read a little less now.
Now please tell me, with such an active life, where do I get the time to be sad and troubled by memories and remembrances? Besides, we remember those whom we have forgotten. I believe my late husband is with me, every moment.
“Memories are not what come in loneliness
Memories are those that make you lonely in a crowd “
Nirmala Verma is a retired teacher and ardent traveller. She lives in Ashok Vihar, Delhi
If you have an experience to contribute like Mrs Verma’s, send it to us at info@parentcareindia.com or in the comment section here.
Comments
Deeksha
15 Sep, 2011
:) glad about the response ... will make sure more work is uploaded.
Monica Vasishta
15 Sep, 2011
Our grief is unbearable when we have to live without someone we are so used to having with us....to overcome that n start all over again, specially covering new ground....- it's a lot...It's exemplary of how to take on something so agonizing...
Charu Mathur
15 Sep, 2011
read the article and by the time i reached the end, i had tears in my eyes alongwith a smile on my lips.....this is one xperience we all will go thru some or the other time in our life.....the loneliness is nobody's fault & noone but we ourselves can bring us out of it.....aunty's xperience teaches us a lot....one must learn to live life to its fullest from her and come out strong inspite of any losses.....salute, aunty
Alka
15 Sep, 2011
My dearest mom ,the bestest mom in the whole wide world, the love and support you have given to us kids , the way you have been a mom and papa to us all is so amazing . Mummy we all are soooooo proud of you, its not us but its you who made sure that after papa we dont feel lost . I love you mummy and miss you and yes you artcle rocks ;)
Vijay
15 Sep, 2011
Aunty ( Mom-II) One page summary is not sufficient to describe your enriched life. We are looking forward for a book and may be books in the years to come. When people are educated, wise, smart, travelled, popular, confident, healthy, successful , visible , then, its time for writing a book. We look forward to your next announcement of coming to the U.S. May be I will see you soon. Look after your self , stay healthy for many more trips. Vijay
Asha
14 Sep, 2011
A Beautiful Life.....wishing you a more laurels dear Nirmala.
U.R.Jain
14 Sep, 2011
We personally know Mrs. Nirmala and about her life prior to the sad demise of her husband in May2003. She was always a cheerful person all through her career as a teacher. Her husband was equally a cheerful and jolly person. It is unimaginable , the way she brought back the happiness in her life and the way she conducted herself to be busy and not to live with the sad memories and miseries of past. One must learn from her experience.
Geetanjali
14 Sep, 2011
Very nice, with the help of our children and our own belief we can do a lot of things in silver years of our life. The need is to build relationships and keep good health, which should be started in the early years of life. All the best to you, enjoy life and be happy.
Preeti
13 Sep, 2011
NICE
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